Like I posted earlier, this week was an interview with Shaunti Feldhahn. Some of her stories were a repeat from when she came to Granger a while back, but still I found it pretty interesting.
Her book, For Women Only, discusses 7 revelations - due to time, they were only able to talk about 4 of them (The revelations are numbered, and then I open up a little bit about each one, seeing is how I'm not married - I tried to focus on the "singles" side)
1) Men Need Respect - R.E.S.P.E.C.T.! *can you hear the song, cuz that's what it's all about* Men have a completely different primary need in relationships, yes they want to be loved and cherished (like women, in fact that's our #1 need) - but for men it's different. They want their woman to be proud of them, they want to be trusted and admired. As women, we tend to show our love for our man, that's the easy part - - but to show them respect may be a little difficult.
For me, I know that when it comes to relationships I've said things to the other person that would not necessarily hurt me - but they come across differently to the guy. Men are wired differently than us, so we must be careful with what we say. For a young woman that is single, show your "flirting" side with him by the admiration you give - couldn't hurt!
2) Men are Insecure - don't roll your eyes...(man or woman) - - it's very true. Here's the thing, if they do have so much self doubt, then here's the perfect opportunity for us ladies to build them up.
If you would have told me this a couple years ago, that most men (if not all) are insecure, I would have thought you were crazy. But as I've gotten older and I've had the chance to get to know the men in my life that I hold close to my heart, their insecurities are there! Some of them may do a better job at hiding them, but I can flat out tell you that I see it. As far as being single and knowing this, just be careful with your words. Like I said before, some of the things you may say can pierce a mans heart in a completely different way then you intended.
3)Men Want More Sex - this has nothing to do with the physical want/need - it has everything to do with the emotional need. Men want to feel desired by their woman. When a wife declines, he feels as though he's not wanted and that his wife doesn't desire him.
Okay, sex is an odd topic - especially when your young, single, and waiting. Here's what I got though...
young boys and girls out there - a boy may pressure a girl into doing things she's never thought about doing, but because she "loves" him - - she gives in. Now that young man probably wonders if he can trust that girl again, thinking that if she gave into him that she would go and do the same thing with some other guy. (make sense?) So the best way to keep from falling into that trap...it's easy....just say "no". The guy may think your immature, but honestly deep down in his heart he respects you for making such a wise decision. And if for some reason he doesn't think that now, he will later - - when he realizes what kind of situation he just put you through.
(okay so that was awkward....moving on)
4) Men are Visual - No matter how godly a man is he can not NOT notice a woman dressed inappropriately. These images will continue to come across his mind every single day. Shaunti told the story of "Home Depot Girl" - all the guy was doing was looking for power tools...but then this girl walks by and as much as he doesn't want to notice - he does. The image that he just saw can be burnt into his mind.
It's funny because when I see a movie with a good looking guy in it, I don't think anything of it. I don't continue thinking about how great he looked with his shirt off, but with men it's completely different. As women, especially young girls - we must be careful with the way we display ourselves. Yes, it's all about looking cute and wearing the next best thing - but because men are the way they are - - we gotta be careful.
So like I said - my notes aren't that great, but if you want more to chew on check out the service at newspring.cc
It's hard for me to relate to a bunch of this stuff, but I wanted to have a post about it in case there are people that are following up on these services.
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